I told my daughter Let me give you some free advice: You get what you pay for And she said I don’t get it
We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal
I never knew who they thought I really was until I finally staked my claim
My handwriting analyst said my electronic signature indicates a Type A personality and that’s all she sees anymore I said
The amygdala tags memories such th… emotional events receive priority so when you rely on how you rememb… you’re trusting how you felt as if it weren’t always the case t…
We have passed from an age of temporary solutions for permanent… consider religion and death– to an era of permanent solutions for temporary…
It’s only once You’ve submitted to God’s will That God will say Surprise Me
The best part about Being a part of something great Is that I get to do my part
I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone
The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…
It never snows anymore in Baltimore but it did before you left open the refrigerator doo…
If the soul is eternal then self-overcoming more than becoming who you really… is becoming who you always were It’s like peeling away
God is one And God is the one that got away But God is still the one that’s got a way
If you Buy it You might Like it
If you want to know what the quarantine was like for me walk a mile in my new leather sweatpants