An Ode to the PGA Tour
To paraphrase Hitchcock a marriage is only as good as its villain
If you would remake the world In your own image Then I can only imagine You believe you’ve thought of ever…
My dreams are no longer about wish fulfillment but about the Amazon fulfillment center
It feels like I’m writ– ing an unauthorized au– tobiography
I don’t give a darn about my bland reputation
I never really knew what postmodern meant until I moved to the internet when from time to time
You need to follow the rules all t… so that you’re following the rules… At the same time, you need to know exactly when to break the rules But there can’t be a rule for brea…
Never trust anyone who doesn’t believe in hell They’re almost always the ones whose idea of heaven is usurping God
Like generals husbands are always preparing to f… while their wives are always prepa… to fight the last just war
During the lockdown you were still technically allowed to exercise outdoors but I rigged up
Your search for a vein is now done in vain under the soft tyranny of wireless narcotics in whose touchless embrace
When life gives you A bottomless pit Fill it with Bottomless fries
Whenever it looks like the Jews have finally been accepted by their host culture you can be sure that trouble for the Jews
Question: What do you want the mo… Answer: The most. This is how you know The devil is always cheating you Because desire is neither
I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny