I’m getting much better at recognizing my wife’s subtle hi… like when she recently put mosquit… over her side of the bed
When you have to share everything else you can still hog the blame pie
Hunting on your own might make you a lone wolf but thinking for yourself makes you a lone ant
Civilization began When the sons killed the father And substituted the name-of-the-fa… Civilization is ending Now that we’ve killed off the name…
Why would they still offer A penny for our thoughts When they can buy in bulk
A grown up is someone who knows the right thing to do and does it anyway
Saying Get out of your comfort zone to an American is like telling a turtle to get out of its shell
Which came first The morals Or the justification Hint: The #1 excuse
I can’t just let go of my past I have to lose a tug of war and get third degree rope burns
Well at least he died doing something he felt he had no choice about
You can’t give people the benefit of the doubt if you’re incapable of doubting yourself
There’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already ignored
It’s not that you’re jeal– ous, but that you guard your jeal– ousy jealously
You will only find happiness when the answers to the questions What would you do if you knew you… and What would you do if you knew you…
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and antisemitism