In phase one we lived in order to live In phase two we talked in order to live In phase three,
It used to be that if you were obscure you had to be able to handle the truth and if you were famous
The difference between God and ma… When we get up to our usual shenan… God always says Frankly my dear, I do give a damn
The narcissist is a two—sided coin… Heads, I need you Tails, I hate you– and the more you meet a narcissist… the more they will hate you
Our lightweight cat litter develop… hit a speed bump when we realized it was worth its weight in gold
We can be given responsibility by God but we can only take control
The true test of power today is whether or not you can be forced to accept a forced apology
It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect
In the new version of socialism You can own as much property as yo… You just can’t own your mistakes
When randomness blends with lawfulness you get the Loch Ness
In school they put me in the gifted class but as one of my favorite teachers finally put it “There’s just something missing”
Why is there something rather than nothing? Because nothing is impossible
I’ll never forget when a guy standing in his front yard confronted me about looking into parked car windows mistaking me for a car thief
I know how it must sound– A two-year long two—week lockdown— But let me expound And dish the lowdown: What we fear’s a hoedown
It turns out that the afterlife is only as long as you can keep the exit interview go…