People are only willing to wait and see when they already know what they are looking for
Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them
God looks down and sees all of His good kids making bad choices God is one but decides to speak to us
I’ve been running the numbers and the running joke that we’re running the show will keep everyone running in plac… until they all start running for t…
Because I never learned anything… I learned the hard way that it’s the only way to learn anything at all
Life is simple; the meaning of life is complicated As a man I’m a simple creature but I’ve been married long enough… that women are complicated
It could be the truth if it couldn’t go viral But it’s definitely pravda if it speeds our downward spiral
After you’ve uploaded everything t… and run the lot of it through the… be sure to recycle, but keep a lit… perhaps in a locket around your ne… or, if you go in for irony,
My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game
If it’s not anticlimactic it wasn’t worth all the effort
People think artists are painting, dancing, writing, or… when really they’re all whistling past the graveyard
When they locked down the third pl… (Houses of worship) And made the first two places (Home and work) Into one place
The far left puts the silent and invisible H in tolerate Guess where? There’s a clue
You can’t quite see it but Moe also pokes Curly right in his third eye
When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick