The difference between Mother Nature and God the Father is that the former doesn’t suffer fools gladly while the latter
I don’t get mad I get odd
Living well Means accepting risk Living hell Is risk-free
It should come as no surprise when the Emperor with no clothes e… Off with their threads!
God: Do you trust me? Me: It’s not my fault!
When people give you the silent treatment have them put it in writing
The conceit of individualism was that you could have a type without even wondering if you might be a type
My life was about to go down the drain but the drain was clogged
Life’s greatest mystery is how other people could possibly have as little interest in my Spotify playlists
The less you need to control the more powerful you
An overreaction used to tell you who was guilty Now it’s just another link in
I’ve long since stopped working on myself but I work overtime on my curated self
Life was once a high-wire act without a net Now it’s tennis without a net
The ugly duckling Is not a duck But he is a lucky duck
When I filter my selfie it becomes a safie