When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped
The cover-up is always worse when there’s no crime
Some people have baggage; I come with furniture Fortunately, my wife enjoys rearranging
A boundary is a line until you cross it when it becomes a binding leaving you all tied up with nowhere to go
My favorite plot twists have always been quicksand and amnesia but I have this sinking feeling I’m forgetting something
The faceless horde finds strength in numbers by losing themselves in the crowd But when your numbers are small
God gave us creation and said Help yourself and so, we plundered it realizing too late that the only way
Jews will tell you Right up front That they believe They are the chosen people WASPs believe that they believe
Everyone thinks Vladimir and Estr… stay together because they’re both waiting for Godot when really it’s their mutual disdain for Wile E. Coyote
I’m not afraid of being alone and I’m not afraid of dying but I am afraid of dying alone
Paradoxically When you have a one-track mind Your body can go anywhere For your soul to accomplish anythi…
The liberal who makes an illiberal… inevitably wants to have it both w… thereby tightening his own double… I must be free to have power over… but
If you take a hot-blooded child and raise him in a cold-blooded cu… don’t be surprised when you get a lukewarm-blooded vulture
Strange that we use Out of order for broken and for breaking the rules As if the Coke machine
Our lightweight cat litter develop… hit a speed bump when we realized it was worth its weight in gold