When anything you think Can and will be used against you The purpose of state-funded educat… Will be learning not to think As the doyens of higher learning
I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed
I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone
My wife I mean my life Is a fulfillment of dreams Where I wish I were wearing pants
I’m always asking God What is the meaning of life? In response, God looks at my life… What is the meaning of this?
Everybody knows That everybody hates group project… But everybody is a group project Which is why everybody hates thems… Unless the group wisdom
There is no theory of quantum grav… Because– Einstein notwithstanding– No one understands gravity There is no theory of God
No shoes, no shirt, no service Just say no Do not pass go, do not collect $20… Don’t call us, we’ll call you No pain, no gain
When people ask me How are you doing? I tell them That’s above my pay grade
There aren’t any lines That you can’t cross– This is called free will But there are lines That you can’t uncross–
It’s not how well you prompt AI it’s how promptly you do so because he who laughs first will have the last laugh
Thinking of happiness as the meaning of life is like thinking of sugar as the meaning of food
People thought they could finally come and go as they pleased if they could just be rid of the g… only to find in their absence not just more and bigger gates
Ignorance is bliss but playing dumb hollows out the abyss
I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…