Why would they still offer A penny for our thoughts When they can buy in bulk

If Wile E. Coyote ever caught the Roadrunner he’d suddenly lose interest

Everyone has a gift in life and mine is knowing exactly how much I can bid in a silent auction without winning

7. “Strategic” nuclear war: Assured destruction = yes, but mut… 6. Giant asteroid hits earth: No one to blame 5. Cyber war:

I thought I was too smart for my own good But happily, I’d overestimated my… and I was just smart enough to be vaporous

If you pull my heartstring I’ll say one of eleven pre-recorded phrases but you can only hear the ones in the first four dimensions

Less self-interest is in your best interest except on Pinterest

My dreams are no longer about wish fulfillment but about the Amazon fulfillment center

My soul is the sole part of me My body makes me one of us My mind is made up Of body and soul– So, just like you, I am

They put a circle at dead ends so you can either live there or turn back but we just keep

To paraphrase Hitchcock a marriage is only as good as its villain

For our civilization to function everyone must be willing to meet at the disappointed hour where if you’re not five minutes t… you’re early

What if Vladimir and Estragon had actually been stalling for Godot

People don’t like surprises so I tell them they’re in for a real surprise which gives them something to look…

Nothing is Risk-free Except hell