My ego is too big
Honesty is the best policy but it’s not an evidence-based practice
The only thing Bigger than my ego Is God’s plan for me
In a failed democracy the one thing both sides can agree on is that the real traitors are the loyal opposition
The closest I ev– er came to forming Voltron was using Groupon
God looks down and sees all of His good kids making bad choices God is one but decides to speak to us
My children have no idea they are living through a golden age of comedy
Decisions my wife doesn’t make are settled by stare decisis
We can be given responsibility by God but we can only take control
Whistler’s mother had just spent a long day with Whis– tler’s mother-in-law
If it’s not anticlimactic it wasn’t worth all the effort
I’ve been racking my brains for the perfect response to accusations of perfectionism only to land at a conundrum: a confession of false modesty is
God is the world’s only super-bower
It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect
A leader attracts a following The following attracts a crowd The crowd mobs the leader The leader forms a mob The mob goes mental