If you take a hot-blooded child and raise him in a cold-blooded cu… don’t be surprised when you get a lukewarm-blooded vulture

There’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already ignored

A memory hole should be just deep enough to bury yourself up to the neck– Any deeper

Faced with a forced choice The agnostic feigns ignorance For if you ask a woman to marry yo… And she says I don’t know

The crucial ingredient for random mutation to drive evolution is a surplus of time But nothing

I used to say Nothing to see here but now that I’ve embraced transparency there really is

In the battle between good and evil good appears to be playing for a tie Evil,

Gracious me! Now that college Has become a finishing school There are no starter homes

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized

Well at least he died doing something he felt he had no choice about

There is no mind There is no body There is thinking and there is fee… And I know all too well How you feel

Is it really leading by example when I floss in the office men’s r… after lunch or is this what the Buddhist’s cal… bodhisattva exhibitionism

It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect

Saying Get out of your comfort zone to an American is like telling a turtle to get out of its shell

Tom Brady keeps a portrait of him… that is becoming progressively more likable