The first time I went to a robot… I said it hurts when I do this just as I bared my soul and the robot doctor said Don’t do that
Natural disaster was always an act of God With climate change we’ve made it our own
Faced with a forced choice The agnostic feigns ignorance For if you ask a woman to marry yo… And she says I don’t know
There’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already ignored
In ancient times the scribe produced holy texts through which you encountered the sacred Today, the coder makes hypertexts through which
The most useful pawn is the one who believes himself king
Tom Brady keeps a portrait of him… that is becoming progressively more likable
I always thought it didn’t matter if human beings really had free will as long as they experienced the wo… as if they did;
Either like swords all signs have a point Or like the needle of a compass
We went from wearing galoshes over… to wearing galoshes over our shoes… to wearing galoshes as shoes and now we wear galoshes over galo…
If I live forty more years I figure my life will pay for itself
My mid-life crisis is the fear that my tombstone epit… Like chicken, he went with everyth…
In the old country song When Mac Davis sings “Oh lord it’s hard to be humble When you’re perfect in every way” I always assumed
Nero fiddles while Rome burns? Fiddle-de-dee! Nero riddles but Rome never learn…
I can never remember street names navigating strictly by landmarks taking left turns just past abandoned doughnut shops impugning me to keep my marriage