Well at least he died doing something he felt he had no choice about

Coffee is for the middle-aged; we need both to shit and get shit done

Humble pie is A required taste Until it becomes An acquired taste

All the advanced metrics say that A bird in the hand Is worth two in the bush But the burning bush advances the… That we are consumed by jealously…

Don’t think of a pink elephant and while you’re at it Don’t kill the messenger

According to F. Scott Fitzgerald… “The test of a first-rate intellig… is the ability to hold two opposin… in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to fu…

When women need a break from the m… they must be able to endure a whole lot of his navel gazing

Our view from the mor– al high ground was blocked by the Mt. Rushmore of golf

The only way to avoid giving the man who has everything more of the same is to give him nothing

I believe in a future in which man perfects the art of expressing his discontent in bushes that look like clouds

I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork

In the beginning God said Let there be light A week later In the Garden of Eden

You can’t take both forks in the road but you can overpack

If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted