The left used to believe that the people have the power but once the Jewish people had the power to form the state of Israel
I’ll never forget when a guy standing in his front yard confronted me about looking into parked car windows mistaking me for a car thief
Under new management, hell now consists of friendly fire
The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them
When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick
The latest version of antisemitism takes the form of a magic trick: The diversion– Antisemitism is bad The illusion–
The human brain has 100 trillion synaptic connections which sounds like a lot but it’s only 0.0000000005% of the universe’s 200 billion tril…
When people ask me How are you doing? I tell them That’s above my pay grade
The cogito may be airtight but its reverse– I am, therefore I think– is less certain
Given a choice I’d rather open a restau– rant than my marriage
When success is made mandatory for all it becomes impossible for any
While I was waiting for them to come to their senses they came to my house
It never snows anymore in Baltimore but it did before you left open the refrigerator doo…
Unsatisfied with turning on the T… to take our minds off things we’ve taken to turning our minds o…
Everybody impersonates who they used to be but only some are impostors