When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs
People are the opposite of baked potatoes– If you keep poking holes in their theories they will explode
Mating For Life Saved My
It’s become harder than ever to be the court jester– you have to use humor to speak
In this age of relentless people p… the merest exercise of reason is always a form of treason
If we know our physics is real Because GPS works Then we know our God is real Because language works
If the world exists on a continuum between utopia and dystopia but instead of polar opposites utopia and dystopia are both hell then at the exact midpoint
On the one hand even the talking cure can’t cure death On the other hand you can’t talk it to death
The worst part about giving every kid in little league a trophy is the way it has emptied all the… out of acquiring
There is no mind There is no body There is thinking and there is fee… And I know all too well How you feel
Wonder Woman’s invisible jet was like a stratospheric glass cei… preventing her from flying like Superman
Nobody remembers how to forgive Because posting on social media Is an act of seeking approval
America’s belief system– The show must go on– comes into focus when you suspend disbelief Because it’s not about justice
You don’t really know someone until it becomes clear that you don’t really know them
Afraid that everything I wanted was nothing to write home about I was left with nothing to write home about