Somewhere between 27% and 53% of… none of which students can legally… is wasted Let’s split the difference and call it 40%
I tried doing everything right Until I dug a hole Took a right turn at Albuquerque And realized There are no straight lines in my…
Aristocracy failed because it couldn’t keep some of the people happy all of the time Democracy is failing because
Because we know we must die and that survival depends on belonging we all live in fear
I have a bad habit of predicting the future; it has kept me alive but only to fight another day And yes, my brain is pattern-seeki…
The internet wants to tell you a l… Instead, let me tell you a secret: After the Holocaust Antisemitism was buried just deep… That it came to seem an anachronis…
Because the ego mustn’t know its real mission lest it go back on accepting it, this message will self-destruct five seconds before life begins:
Gracious me! Now that college Has become a finishing school There are no starter homes
People can’t really love their ene… but they sure can love the enemy of their enemy which actually gets them awful clo… to universal love anyway
When I started telling my employe… Apologies in advance! they still felt compelled by decor… No apologies needed which was how I ended exploitation
To be the bigger person you need to realize that egos are like animals: the smaller their proportions the greater their proportional str…
The kingdom of heaven is like two otherwise mediocre individuals making a great couple
When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped
Paradoxically To approach perfection You need to make Really big mistakes Ironically
The American social contract takes the form of an unholy allian… If you don’t question my authority… I won’t hold you accountable So, when our barons traded the US…