It was always true that if you tried to save the relationship by looking the other way eventually they’d want to be

I can never remember street names navigating strictly by landmarks taking left turns just past abandoned doughnut shops impugning me to keep my marriage

You can only e– ver explain things with that which cannot be explained

Home isn’t Where you go And they have to take you in No such place exists Home is

When Mao said “Everything under heaven is in utt… he went on to kill 60 million of h… When Xi Jinping said “Everything under surveillance is…

Most people can get away with sweeping a few things under the ru… but when I started working at the… I couldn’t help noticing how the rugs looked like

While I was waiting for them to come to their senses they came to my house

Like many people I have dreams in which I’m flying but in mine I’m always flying

Gaslight, gas bright First-class I seek tonight I wish I may I wish I might Have the wishful thought

The only thing Bigger than my ego Is God’s plan for me

Life is a talent show where most everyone is doing bad versions of easy impressions

When the loyal opposition smelled a rat the administration’s defense centered on the fact that it wasn’t the rats that had carrie…

The true test of power today is whether or not you can be forced to accept a forced apology

I’m getting much better at recognizing my wife’s subtle hi… like when she recently put mosquit… over her side of the bed