Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened
I’m getting much better at recognizing my wife’s subtle hi… like when she recently put mosquit… over her side of the bed
Knowing that everyone agrees you remind them of indoor furniture on the porch tells you nothing about what each of them thinks of you
When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs
Is being a conformist without a cause enough to qualify me as an antihero
If we’re being scientific, then The more certain you are that quan… The less certain you become as to… i.e., It works like a charm And if we’re being honest, when
China’s zero-covid policy zeroes in on ideology in order to zero out reality Americans, too, have a zero percen… making justice a total zero
Whereas Stanford decided to make its mascot a tree my wife is a decision tree and I am her mascot even though I couldn’t get into S…
In Mexico City men never wear shorts and if that’s where my anxiety dreams are set they could represent
In a real life version of the ugly duckling discovering s… I was the reject popsicle stick who at long last found out I was a handy tongue depressor
The pandemic lockdowns were the pa… and penultimate nonevent because o… limits of human imagination– We could only imagine shutting everything down
The pleasure of a new discovery is only exceeded by the satisfaction of making a recommendation
The pleasure in a magic show is wondering how the magician did it
It’s no coincidence that a mirror… making all self-examination a form… in which I observe myself to remak… in my own image This only works if I believe
When your mind is transparent Your body becomes invisible Because once they’ve made certain You’re thinking all the right thou… They’ll never give you another tho…