Domination is feudal But resistance seems futile And lo, we canoodle With the large standard poodle We all know as boodle
If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock
You can’t watch sports these days… Father Time is undefeated Which is when I always quote Saul… “Vait a minute. Vat about Rocky…
Civilization is an attempt to filibuster death
Everyone thinks Vladimir and Estr… stay together because they’re both waiting for Godot when really it’s their mutual disdain for Wile E. Coyote
Rule #1- Where God says no, the devil says… And where the devil says no, God… Rule #2- If everybody knows the answers ahe…
It was always true that if you tried to save the relationship by looking the other way eventually they’d want to be
People are only willing to wait and see when they already know what they are looking for
Some families hide the truth in pl… By laughing at it Although it gets confusing for a c… When the truth is a joke That can’t be told
Some people have baggage; I come with furniture Fortunately, my wife enjoys rearranging
The cold war was a just war but a just war is still just war and war is hell
There is only one way to claim moral authority: Convincing others that they are the authority in their own life And based on exhaustive research
Higher education purports to prepare you for life when really it exists to indebt you for life, expanding campus ideology
Once again, we find ourselves unable to avoid asking– Why do so many people hate Jews to the point of wanting to see the… But let’s refine the question,
Never trust anyone who doesn’t believe in hell They’re almost always the ones whose idea of heaven is usurping God