On the Mt. Rushmore of cartoon mice I would put four Jerrys
You have a real life if there are no easy solutions You have a real problem if there are no easy solutions but there is an easy way out
Thinking of happiness as the meaning of life is like thinking of sugar as the meaning of food
The bell curve is the Serpent With the lump in the middle Who ate Adam and Eve By convincing us we’re all mostly… But we’ve proven indigestible
A smart phone is 1/7 billionth of a doomsday machine
I don’t give a darn about my bland reputation
We guard the thin line between love and hate by loving more But we cross the thin line between self-love and self-hate
We lost our way when we ran out of time and into eternity because space without time
Upon dying peacefully in my sleep surrounded by family after a long, prosperous life the Grim Reaper looked at me and… I’m glad to see you’ve arrived saf…
I fist met Cap’n Crunch back when he was 2nd Lieutenant C… He did this weird thing where he’d… in the powdered milk powder and sa… Stays crunchy even in milk!
When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped
The Declaration of Independence w… revised to guarantee life, security and the pursuit of criminals
LL Cool J can’t live without his radio For me, it’s my patio
No one seems to see (least of all me) that being all you can be isn’t about clutching superiority– it’s for abjuring mediocrity
God doesn’t make mistakes; God makes people People make mistakes And learn from them that God doesn’t make mistakes