In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…
My dad was a very religious man He always told me You’ve made your bed now you’ve got to not eat in it
We live in an age when the greatest danger is an excess of caution
Just as birds regurgitate to feed their young human beings have culture
The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…
I always like to know where I stand and I always bring an umbrella that can double
If my wife could re-draft she says she’d still take me but only after trading back to the second round
I’m not scared of the explicit danger I’m afraid of the implicit threats
I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo
An overreaction used to tell you who was guilty Now it’s just another link in
Al Gore didn’t invent the internet He created a device for the reinforcement of irrational thoughts and behaviors
Knowing is half the battle but it’s always been left unsaid t… the other half is feeling We can now definitively say that you’ll know the battle’s been…
Frequently, God’s light is like sun glare, telling me to slow the heck down
It never snows anymore in Baltimore but it did before you left open the refrigerator doo…
AI didn’t write this poem; it wrote the algorithm that decided whether or not you would read it