Many people think of life as a gift but to me it’s more like
Staring at your phone came to be known as the thousand yard stare
There are no endings neither happy nor sad– Does this make you happy or sad? I pretend to answer the question by preferring songs that end
Right up until the last revision it said Life, liberty and the hot pursuit…
Language is great for Letting us tell each other Where it hurts And you keep telling me It hurts when I don’t listen
Like many people I have dreams in which I’m flying but in mine I’m always flying
If my wife could re-draft she says she’d still take me but only after trading back to the second round
The best way to control somebody Is to divide the mind from the bod… Because the body is where the soul…
What if I could just do no wrong Then surely, I’d still get to bel… Perforce, I did nothing And found myself bluffing Whenever I needed to be strong
Because there is no I in lions, if a lion could talk, it couldn’t say I Which is to say, a lion can starve but never lacks,
In person we can struggle for equality Online we’ve already achieved
To paraphrase Hitchcock a marriage is only as good as its villain
Happiness is the moment after the weight of the world is lifted from your shoulders and before it lands on your toe
Seeing as no good deed goes unpuni… Everyone else turned the job offer… And went back to waiting on their… Only the Jews understood that In the real world
Entire lives can be lived waiting for the other shoe to drop although often this just means you’re being crushed at a snail’s…