The Book of Numbers
Nobody grows up wanting to be a mot– ivational speaker
In the movies they always guess right when it’s time to cut the blue wire or the red wire on the ticking time bomb
When life gives you A bottomless pit Fill it with Bottomless fries
Power is the ability To maintain your non-negotiables And the world to come Will arrive when we stop trying To negotiate a new deal with God
If life is the in-breath and death the out-breath we presume that by ridding ourselves of death we’ll live an infinite in-breath
Your search for a vein is now done in vain under the soft tyranny of wireless narcotics in whose touchless embrace
If you pull my heartstring I’ll say one of eleven pre-recorded phrases but you can only hear the ones in the first four dimensions
The difference between God and ma… When we get up to our usual shenan… God always says Frankly my dear, I do give a damn
In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…
You can’t take it with you tells us how to live well But we think it means living forev… and so, we’ve invested in Shell In the hopes that our savings will…
Human beings evolved to avoid face-to-face conflict which was why until very recently everybody was talking behind each…
G.K. Chesterton said “When men stop believing in God they don’t believe in nothing; they believe in anything” But after a while,
As long as there have been people there have been people wearing mas… the difference now is that each mask comes with an entire cos…
My wife is philosophically opposed to my habit of justifying things, say a bag of the really good kind… with the phrase: I deserve it
As an American I have a posteriori knowledge that Americans pretend without reason to a priori knowledge of the other