The most useful pawn is the one who believes himself king
Because there is no I in lions, if a lion could talk, it couldn’t say I Which is to say, a lion can starve but never lacks,
Rock and roll may be dead but it’s got one of the great corp… like a dead horseshoe crab
As you age getting enough exercise in futility becomes more and more a portent
Anselm’s ontological proof fails at proving the existence of God; there is no way around a leap of f… Instead, it proves that human bein… are incapable of accessing God’s m…
When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped
The only way to avoid giving the man who has everything more of the same is to give him nothing
My corner of the internet may be infinitesimally small Not even a grain in a brick in the wall Yet still I’m a part
It’s not about you; It’s about me– This is how you know She’s breaking up with you It’s not about you;
I don’t meet many people with a mind like a steel trap Instead, the really smart people tend to have minds like trawling n… to catch the really big fish
My wife now relates to me very much as she does to stinky cheese
When it came time to build my own… it quickly became apparent that I’… explaining that the color of the b…
Were I not happily married to my Jewish bride I would have happily lived out the rest of my days none the wiser
Imagine what the mannequins say to… as they go their separate ways fro… as each ships out from the factory A religious mannequin says: There, but for the grace of God,…
People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…