People want to get rich because they think money will make them happy People want to stay rich because they know that money
Mid-life is when you realize you’re in a clown car The end of life is about accepting that of all the clowns
Upon dying peacefully in my sleep surrounded by family after a long, prosperous life the Grim Reaper looked at me and… I’m glad to see you’ve arrived saf…
You have a real life if there are no easy solutions You have a real problem if there are no easy solutions but there is an easy way out
To those who say they’ll keep working until they die I say don’t die–
1. Make so much money you could he… 2. Remind yourself that “there’s n… 3. Tell yourself you need to feed… 4. Eat like kings
If people tell you what they plan to do and you don’t believe them it’s because pretending they don’t really mean it
If you count the rings on a tree stump it will tell you the cost of doing business
God will accept everything about you but the one thing He won’t take is the blame
When things were easy going it was easy to believe you were on the up and up But when the going got tough suddenly you were going
When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs
In the confession booth I have a confession to make so that I can receive forgiveness In the show trial I have a confession to make up
My psychic told me I needed to ta… I said I already knew that I came here to look before I leap
The human condition is either thinking that we’re free when we’re actually held captive or thinking that we’re captive when we’re actually free
There’s always a deadline when I read a lifeline so I’ll cut right to the chase: Conjoined with your avatar you will live forever