Post-pandemic life is like being a… Who comes home only to find Her parents have replaced Her obviously dead goldfish With a new one
I always wondered if mimes were a type of clown until having my mind blown by the insight that
You bet your bottom dollar I’ll bet the bottom of my heart
Never Win Anything
If you made a Venn Diagram of my office and a coal mine the only thing you’d put where the… is the canary we keep by the copie… If the canary is dead
When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped
The lamppost is an outpost Where it’s safe to admit That between you, me, and the lamp… Self-knowledge is over-rated Self-deception is automated
The dream has always been To build a time machine And go back in time To change the present But some things never change–
You’ll know you’re talking to God When He doesn’t talk back Yet you still have your answer
We thought it would last forever but in retrospect we were having a high time at low tide when the clam digging was easy and the eating was good
Your life, like everyone else’s will eventually accept death’s pro… and maybe it’s because from the moment you were born death has been saying yes to life
It turns out that the afterlife is only as long as you can keep the exit interview go…
I still believe that anything is possible It’s just that now nothing would surprise me
God gave us creation and said Help yourself and so, we plundered it realizing too late that the only way
Our view from the mor– al high ground was blocked by the Mt. Rushmore of golf