Eat, drink And be merry But don’t drink And derive
There are neither good people nor normal people just people who are good at sticki…
At first everyone was to be followed by a p… to protect us from terrorists or kill us if we were terrorists But then it was decided that
You will only find happiness when the answers to the questions What would you do if you knew you… and What would you do if you knew you…
We think nothing’s shocking since we’ve seen it all when really it’s because we’re blind to the obvious
After that instead of talking about the weath… or staring at their phones people stared at anyone who talked
Tech’s greatest feat is maintaining the illusion that we’re finally rid of the middle man when in fact
We used to have the haves and the have nots But then the haves were further subdivided into the haves and the have to
None of us can see further than our own noses but Pinocchio can see further than the rest of us
The prevailing mood was that of a nuclear submarine having failed to deter Armageddon
100% of success is showing up on time
When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs
She believed me when I said that my life was based on a true story
Many con artists have a moral awakening; even more realize that the only compassionate thing to do is continue the con
Everyone wants to live forever because fear is self-perpetuating No one wants to overcome the fear… because courage is selfless