A wedding ring is a mood ring that never changes color reminding us that a husband should always feel
I don’t get mad I get odd
There was a time when fools managed perceptions in order to manage reality, realists managed perceptions because they couldn’t manage reali…
The usual cruelty Is having multiple children And enforcing a hierarchy In order to keep the peace Unusual cruelty
Decisions my wife doesn’t make are settled by stare decisis
Think about how much control they… with a made up version of eternal damnation Then consider how much freedom you’ll be left with
My psychic told me I needed to ta… I said I already knew that I came here to look before I leap
If you cut off an arm you are left with a stump to which you affix a prosthetic If you cut off a face you are left with a mask
People thought they could finally come and go as they pleased if they could just be rid of the g… only to find in their absence not just more and bigger gates
I thought I could keep the family… until I realized I was the family… So, all the time I was afraid of… the family’s dirty laundry I was already wearing
I’m neither handy nor a dandy but my wife still finds me handy d…
Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened
Never trust anyone who doesn’t believe in hell They’re almost always the ones whose idea of heaven is usurping God
The difference between poisonous snakes and venomous human beings is that when the snake bites you and explains
You can’t know what you will decid… But you will know when you have de… You can’t know how you will act on… But you already know what is at st… Everything hangs in the balance;