As the enormous asteroid hurtled toward Earth I found myself working harder than ever
She was so cool that even her periods were fashionably late
I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone
Everybody talks about the lack of movies for grown-ups but no one mentions the absence of grown-ups Of course, without grown-ups
Those who can do talk shows Those who can’t teach others to show, don’t tell
Like the distended sleeve On the fake Gordon Gartrell Denise made for Theo A giraffe’s long neck Reveals it as
Being human beings Pacifists are just as obsessed With wielding power As everybody else And just as pathological as those
The biggest shock of Judgment Day Was that they don’t give out grade… Just comments Which, of course, is worse Mine said:
It’s not about you; It’s about me– This is how you know She’s breaking up with you It’s not about you;
A people pleaser pretends to live in Youtopia but really resides in Myopia because all he can see is what he needs from you
Knowing that everyone agrees you remind them of indoor furniture on the porch tells you nothing about what each of them thinks of you
The ego (that’s you) is a symptom of lack (that’s nothing)
As you age getting enough exercise in futility becomes more and more a portent
A memory hole should be just deep enough to bury yourself up to the neck– Any deeper
My handwriting analyst said my electronic signature indicates a Type A personality and that’s all she sees anymore I said