Every time I screw up God says what He has to say and then He says Over and I always think
To elide is to join together by omitting The world elides Jews abide
I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…
Maya Angelou says we have one hand to help others and one hand to help ourselves
Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche
Relationships are hard work unless you’ve preemptively announc… that you’re quitting but staying on as a volunteer
Seeing as I’m just the messenger It would be easier to tell you Than to show you Because words are all I’ve got But since, if I told you
Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous
Liberalism deepened by religion Religion widened by liberalism Until the body and soul politic Is so deep That it swallows our fears
Thinking of happiness as the meaning of life is like thinking of sugar as the meaning of food
Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened
A memory hole should be just deep enough to bury yourself up to the neck– Any deeper
Guilty, I’d pled when left for dead for what I had said but as the undead squeezed my bonehead
Life used to be hard And that’s how we liked it So much that we used to say Hurry up and wait In the understanding that
There was no end in sight but we put an end to that by losing our sight And all we could hear was the sound of violence