She went to law school; I bet it all on brick ov– en pita and lost
I used to stand on the moral high ground to look myself in the eye but now that I’ve plucked it out and thrown it away
The first step in bearing the trut… is telling it This will make you unbearable, starting the next step of banishme… Form there, it is up to you
My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game
After years of therapy the stump came to see that there was an I, two even, in the giving tree
It was an open secret that on his day off Sisyphus liked to go downhill skii…
My curated self has asked me for a divorce
We think nothing’s shocking since we’ve seen it all when really it’s because we’re blind to the obvious
God: Do you trust me? Me: It’s not my fault!
No shoes, no shirt, no service Just say no Do not pass go, do not collect $20… Don’t call us, we’ll call you No pain, no gain
Freedom looks like Total autonomy When really, it’s The deepest connection
You’ll know the movement for justice has ceased when everyone and everything comes to a standstill
The latest version of antisemitism takes the form of a magic trick: The diversion– Antisemitism is bad The illusion–
A student’s job has always been to put received knowledge into their own words or, more simply to state the obvious
Thinking of happiness as the meaning of life is like thinking of sugar as the meaning of food