If my wife could re-draft she says she’d still take me but only after trading back to the second round
Instead of a Che Guevara t-shirt I have a Carol Burnett henley
Yes, we have no bananas but we still need you to play second banana
I fist met Cap’n Crunch back when he was 2nd Lieutenant C… He did this weird thing where he’d… in the powdered milk powder and sa… Stays crunchy even in milk!
Money can’t buy me love; Bitcoin doesn’t need to
Originally a method for learning from mistakes science had been debased into a tool for sorting right from wrong
Chaucer said All good things must come to an en… Which was widely If begrudgingly Accepted as a good thing
At bottom freedom consists of the possibility that you are wrong
Like the distended sleeve On the fake Gordon Gartrell Denise made for Theo A giraffe’s long neck Reveals it as
All opinions are wrong but you can only learn from your own mistakes
The dream has always been To build a time machine And go back in time To change the present But some things never change–
Hook-up apps have given intimacy all the allure of an oil change
You will have noticed by now That the phrase Public humiliation Is redundant
It all clicked for me when I realized that Hebrew School Is a party school
The worst part about giving every kid in little league a trophy is the way it has emptied all the… out of acquiring