I don’t believe in myself So, I must control God I believe in God So, I can control myself
As an American I have a posteriori knowledge that Americans pretend without reason to a priori knowledge of the other
The day I found out I was as deep as a basket of botto… was the same day I learned that the problem with fishing for compl… is that you can’t throw them back
God will accept everything about you but the one thing He won’t take is the blame
When people meet me they typically think I’m a sensitive guy but later they realize I’m a time sensitive guy
Natural disaster was always an act of God With climate change we’ve made it our own
People are the opposite of baked potatoes– If you keep poking holes in their theories they will explode
When we restrict someone’s space i… we say that they are doing time implying that the rest of us are doing spacetime You do time
Nobody grows up wanting to be a mot– ivational speaker
I’m always leaving things at church so the lost and found won’t be empty
When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick
It always comes down to what is most important to you and what is most important to you is not knowing what is most import…
Which came first The morals Or the justification Hint: The #1 excuse
They used to pay us A penny for our thoughts But then they realized We would pay them To think for us
In the past walking into a cathedral made you feel small Now it makes you feel fat