The smartest gal in the room Is the one who realizes All the adults in the room Are emotional children Behaving like holy terrors
Thinking of happiness as the meaning of life is like thinking of sugar as the meaning of food
I am my own worst enemy But God is my greatest ally I like my odds
Hook-up apps have given intimacy all the allure of an oil change
The older that I get, the more wanton lust looks like wanting for love
The decisive moment at the gates o… is exactly like the denouement in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? but with one twist To make you feel the pressure
LL Cool J can’t live without his radio For me, it’s my patio
Some families hide the truth in pl… By laughing at it Although it gets confusing for a c… When the truth is a joke That can’t be told
In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…
Peace is not the goal It is the byproduct of the goal The goal is obvious Which is why we can’t see it
It’s taken me this long to underst… like Pee Wee Herman I meant to do that though I’m still unsure why Because as hard as it’s been
There are no atheists in foxholes; the world is a foxhole
I don’t get mad I get odd
I knew Remain was in trouble when they announced that a vote fo… was also a vote in favor of renami… Brexit McBrexitface
To those who say they’ll keep working until they die I say don’t die–