People don’t like surprises so I tell them they’re in for a real surprise which gives them something to look…
In school they put me in the gifted class but as one of my favorite teachers finally put it “There’s just something missing”
The best way to prevent something from happenin… is to convince people that it already did
My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion
There are two kinds of people in t… Those who believe in God And those who believe in God But also believe in God You can tell the latter
Feminism’s big mistake is thinking it can use a power vac… to clean up the patriarchy’s mess
The sloth’s plangent gaze confirms what we already know: The eighth deadly sin is haste
It’s the odd couple that isn’t always trying to even the score
She believed me when I said that my life was based on a true story
The prevailing mood was that of a nuclear submarine having failed to deter Armageddon
As the new Assistant to the Deput… your primary initial responsibilit… 1) Establishing détente between wo… and paleo dietary restriction fact… while maintaining the dining hall’…
Civilization began When the sons killed the father And substituted the name-of-the-fa… Civilization is ending Now that we’ve killed off the name…
The most useful pawn is the one who believes himself king
Beginner is talking yourself into doing what you are going to do anyway Advanced is talking yourself out of doing
Failure to pay the narcissistic wa… results in a fit of rage that cannot be assuaged short of an all against all rampag…