When a tone deaf authority insists you watch your tone it’s because they would never ask you to do something they aren’t already doing themselv…
Learning how to walk is learning how to fall forward while remembering to catch yoursel… again and again Walking is the illusion
Actually, we all died in the pande… Life– I can’t afford not to Pandemic life– I can’t afford to… The afterlife– I can’t afford not…
You can tell that the far right Borg and the far left Borg are one Borg because Donald Trump
Forecasting the rain in Spain is mainly done in vain
Gracious me! Now that college Has become a finishing school There are no starter homes
I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed
When we say something is infinite Say, the universe What we really mean Is that it is unfinished
During the lockdown you were still technically allowed to exercise outdoors but I rigged up
Like Coke for Coca-Cola, Mr. Pibb is short for Mr. Pibb, ABD
Not much has changed but now I’m a glass is ten per– cent full kind of guy
If you Buy it You might Like it
In phase one we lived in order to live In phase two we talked in order to live In phase three,
Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened
In the first take of Braveheart’s… Mel Gibson directed William Wall… “Freedom and responsibility!” But as a practiced antisemite Gibson quickly realized his error