The River
How my heart ached placing you in that boat on the river,
Passing you over to the boatman.
Trusting that he knew the way.
Knowing that he had the strength and skill to take you
On the journey out to sea.
Before you set off from the reedy shore,
I placed two precious bundles in your arms.
Wrapped in soft cloth,
They were quiet and peaceful,
Knowing they were safe and being set free.
Cradled by the grandfather they had never met.
The boat set off.
The current silently carrying you.
The boatman’s oars rhythmic pulse.
There was no going back now.
I watched you go,
Letting go...
In the dimming evening light you became
Smaller and smaller.
And when you vanished behind the final bend
My silent howl was the terror
Of losing this last piece of
You.
Then panic as I remembered my brother.
Quick...
I must put him in a boat too.
Right now...
I felt a rush of guilt
Not having him with you and the babies, Dad.
But then peace.
It was right that he followed you
In his own boat
Along the river.
A little way behind you
And out to the Ocean of Love.
Four souls,
Released and free once more.
Who am I?
a small girl who lost her daddy when she was eight years old
a mother who lost 2 precious babies to miscarriage
a sister who lost her brother to cancer
The process of writing this poem, based on an experience I had on a silent retreat, has been deeply healing for me.
