from the book "Where the Sidewalk Ends" (1974)
#AmericanWriters
Now, listen to me, folks... Hear what I say. You got to eat oysters everyday They’ll put your love life back on… They’re nature’s own aphrodisiac.
I made myself a snowball As perfect as could be. I thought I’d keep it as a pet And let it sleep with me. I made it some pajamas
The Homework Machine, Oh, the Homework Machine, Most perfect contraption that’s ev… Just put in your homework, then dr… Snap on the switch, and in ten sec…
Eight balloons no one was buyin’ All broke loose one afternoon. Eight balloons with strings a-flyi… Free to do what they wanted to. One flew up to touch the sun - P…
Don’t give a dose to the one you… Give her some marmalade... give he… You can give her the willies or gi… But the dose that you give her wil… I once had a lady as sweet as a so…
He’ll be comin’ down the road at t… His head thrown back and his guns… He’s comin’ after Jinny wants to… Oh he boasted in town but she love… He said anyone try to stop him wou…
Said the little boy, ‘Sometimes I… Said the old man, ‘I do that too.… The little boy whispered, ‘I wet… ‘I do that too,’ laughed the littl… Said the little boy, ‘I often cry…
Everybody says I’m paranoid they… They all smile to my face but they… They put poison in my coffee they… They put spiders in my tennis shoe… It’s hard to stop and figure out w…
If I had a brontosaurus I would name him Morris or Horace… But if suddenly one day he had a l… I would change his name to Laurie…
(Hey the truth might hurt so I’m… Hey you better not ask me where I… Why my eyes are shinin’ and my spi… You better not ask if I been doin… And you better not ask me bout the…
No– I did not take a nap – The nap– took– me off the bed and out the window far beyond the sea, to a land where sleepy heads
Well breakfast black coffee one sl… Lunch just some lettuce two celery… Dinner one chicken wing broiled no… And this dietin’ dietin’ dietin’ d… So pass me a carrot stick peel me…
I’ve been working so hard you just… And I’m tired! There’s so little time and so much… And I’m tired! I’ve been lying here holding the g…
Ricky was 'L’ but he’s home with… Lizzie, our ‘O,’ had some homewor… Mitchell, 'E’ prob’ly got lost on… So I’m all of love that could mak…
center Mama said I’d lose my head if it wasn’t fastened on. Today I guess it wasn’t 'cause while playing with my cousi…