They Will Never Be
Evelyn Jey
When she walks with her,
I often disappear
Though fate will dictate me
To let alone the ones
Who are actively vanishing.
Almonds,
Heat in my belly,
Cars rushing past.
Nothing for me, except
All of your love
That I do not want nor need
When it is inadequate
Reserved for
Another, and another alone–
Like chocolate poured into
Plastic cups
In small amounts to abstain
From something like this:
Best friends,
(Cotton candy stings)
Then she leaves
And I cry,
Please–
Don’t hate them
Them with their rainbow hair
But I couldn’t care less if she does,
For they have lemon icees
And hug me in the parking lot
And understand so many more things
Then she ever could.
Some love gives me butterflies
But it is a fever dream,
Like dim butter,
And passes–
Nothing so bright could burn for so long
Except on Hanukkah,
And I am not Jewish.
I push away because it is so meaningful that I do not deserve any of it.
