Restless Brain
Am I psychotic?
...I can’t say.
I’ve been told I don’t think the same way as others would.
They’re different.
My thought processes, my reactions.
They don’t conform to the norm;
Sometimes I wish they would.
I tried to change them once;
But failed.
Because of them I’ve been left ALONE.
Isolation is maddening.
It’s eating away at my sanity.
I’m restless;
Pulling out my hair.
I don’t know what to do.
I need to run;
Get away from my demons.
But I can’t;
They’re stuck to me - like my shadow.
I want to scream,
Till my lungs are empty and my throat raw.
Punch the wall,
So my hands turn black and fingers go numb.
I have a monster in my brain;
It’s trying to take over.
Should I just surrender or try to fight it off?
But I’ve been fighting for as long as I can remember,
And I don’t have the strength left to push it back anymore.
If only I wasn’t so alone,
Then maybe I could fight a bit longer.
My restless brain is telling me to give up;
I CANT SAVE MYSELF ANYMORE.
I’M DROWNING, I CANT BREATH.
And there’s nothing that can stop it.
(2015)
