If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock
If your phalanges cause you to philander pluck off the ring
We’d all been taught As the temps got hot That all was for naught And that was our lot So, we’d cashed out and bought
They can’t kick sand in your face if your head is al– ready in the sand
Peanut butter’s not very good by itself but chocolate is Because I’m not very religious it’s important for me
Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death
My corner of the internet may be infinitesimally small Not even a grain in a brick in the wall Yet still I’m a part
If new car smell lasts forever you will not be able to smell it
What I lack in subtlety I make up for in volume
If the truth were merely regarded as false it might still have found its purpose but once degraded into
In the state of nature You live by the sword And die by the sword In civilization The pen is mightier
The wonder of it all includes everything worth loving but also everything that must be endured So, I wonder about
It is said that “rules create fun”, but guns create rules while warring results from anarchy
When they start to call you clear-eyed it just means you’re a cynic whose time has come
My wife and I have remained happi… because she recognizes me as capta… as long as I acknowledge her as air traffic control