winter triggers depressive episodes for me, for context.
#MentalIllnessMentalHealthWinter
i’m dissecting you with a scalpel… i’m slapping you on the rack, reac… pulling out your intestines and di… doesn’t feel so good, does it?
“do you still think i’m pretty?” i… mascara running down my face, lips…
my ma stuck that knife in me straight down to the hilt. she treated the knife like a nail, and treated her fist like a hammer… i pulled it out, bit by bit,
she carves her name in my thigh wi… i let her, looking down at her fro… while she sits there on her knees… i tell her i love her and she just… she’s known because she always kno…
my bones scream to escape this ski… to tear through my flesh and force… then to let them dangle by their p… my teeth are too big to share this… and my tongue is too large to fit…
we’re dogs at your door, but i’m a mutt and he’s a purebred… he wants the bed and i’ll take the… it’s whatever you want. i’ll be whatever you want.
the ocean makes a damned pagan out… i turn into the little kid i was w… the ocean reminds me i’m in limbo. reminds me i’ve come from boat peo…
he kissed along my scars and asked… i tangled my fingers in his hair a…
i’m whispering “baby,” up to the n… relishing in the roll of the word… the hum of influence, consequence,… like a storm, like a burn, like an…
sit across from me, with no space in between. chest again chest, and our legs folded awkwardly. wrap your arms around my neck,
i don’t want to grow up but god, i can’t wait to get older…
i’m trying to give you cardiac arr… i’m trying to drink your blood lik… i hate your guts; can i fuck them… don’t be gentle, i want to scream at the top of my…
you’re alive and you’re young, healthy and hygienic. you’re sick and you’re dead; my walking corpse bride. love, stop leaving me!
i laughed out loud. the world didn’t implode.
i want to cry and count all your f… decorate your face with stickers a… then maybe you could hold me and w… do you think?